Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know who the president of Turkey really is

What does it mean when someone is pretending to be me?

I have complete contempt for fakery

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Which is a better option, a love marriage or an arranged marriage in India?

I don’t cotton to rapists

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

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I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

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Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Is it true that most Indian men are gay and they just hide their feelings?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

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I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Do I need a Walmart account?

I can count

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

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I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

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authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

According to Trump, Ukraine started the war. Why?

I see through liars

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t buy bullshit

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I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

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It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have a reading level above third grade

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I actually pay taxes

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I can read

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”